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It’s interesting that if I’m sad and having a hard time finding words of my own, that music can offer so much. Even instrumentals with the right chords and the right tempo can bring tears to my eyes. It’s a wonderful gift we humans have in music. To be able to offer solace to our souls, to give triggers to memories, to help us grieve.
My mother-in-law passed away last night. I find myself wanting to write her something. I have no issues with finding the right words, but I feel like keeping quiet for once, and letting my fingers do some of the weeping for me. My eyes have had enough of a cry, so I want to let the rest of my body follow. They say that every cell in our bodies have a memory, well I want to let every cell in my body mourn properly and fully.
To lose, not just a mother-in-law, but a close and very dear friend hurts to the core of even the hardest of men. To allow feelings to come forth is a gift in itself, but to make it so that others who hear your piece will feel your angst and your pain is a release of self, and an allowance of mourning. It says “I am not afraid to cry in front of people. I share my pain with you. Listen to the haunting sounds of my heart, come hear my song.”
There will be music playing at the funeral, there will be music playing during the reception. I will play my own song for her, in my home, alone, where it’s only her and I that can hear it.
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My sincere condolences, Broccoli. I am so sad to hear this. I hope she, at least, had a wonderful and long life - Though that won’t take away from the pain of having to miss her around :(
I am so sorry to hear this Broccoli. I wish you a long life with no sorrow. Hugs.
Thank you Amanda and Copper.
I wrote it two nights ago. It has vocals, but I can’t sing them quite yet. The words are very moving.
On a happier note I also wrote another lullaby. Even in a time of mourning music can still bring me great joy. It’s cute, addicting, and will drive the mother nuts. Simple, fun, I think she’ll learn it very quickly and then have it stuck in her head for 2 weeks. Ha ha ha!!!
Isn’t it funny how we can do that? The human mind is a magnificent thing. You can tell the true success behind a song by how many people sing it, can’t get it out of their heads and end up hating it, but can’t stop no matter what. LMAO!!!
Dear broccoli,though I hardly know you, and some months have passed,I wish to add my condolences for the loss of your mother-in-law. I know what it is to lose a friend. Think of her long, happy life as copper has said. It’s lovely that music was played at her funeral and reception.
We had no music at my mother’s funeral in August as it was outdoor and not usually done. I desperately wanted to sing a folk song which my mother had taught me as a child, but knew I would break down in the middle of it and in any case I hadn’t mentioned it to my sister or rabbi first. The funeral so needed some music, something uplifting!
That you are writing music shows that your pain has not blocked your
feeling - if that makes sense. I would love to hear your compositions, especially your lullaby. I am a little bit blocked as I wouldn’t allow myself to cry. ( I lost my 20 year old cat four days before my mother so it was all too much for me.)
Regards to you
Ikey
Dear Ikey,
You’ve already started to unblock if you have acknowledged your problem, and have now voiced it. Learning to trust ourselves enough to express our pain, and not be ashamed to tell someone, or everyone is one of the harder journeys we have to make in life.
I’ve been blessed with the ability to express myself, and have been through so much that I’ve been able to use my gift of communication to let others know that they’re not alone. To be able to put words to the pent up feelings, the stuck thoughts that people feel is a gift far beyond the pain of having to endure the trials that my life offers me.
Music has helped me because when I write I get a chance to cry. When I get to a point where I can get through it and no longer cry then I know I have enough to help someone else who might not have the right words to accurately describe what they’re going through.
A lot of people will hear a song and it will bring back a memory. I try to create my own memories. They mean more to me.
I’ve been a little blocked too, right now. I know that it’ll come back, so I’m not worrying. I don’t try to fix everything. I try to endure.
If you find you can’t go forward, then stay where you are and get your bearings. When you can express what you are feeling, when you unblock, then you’ll be able to continue living. Being blocked means you’re existing. The fact that you’ve written to me, and I am grateful to you for opening up, comes across as you’re kind of overflowing and really need to get some of the "stuck" moving.
If getting out your feelings, worries, hurts, pains and sorrows means you say things in a way that sounds angry, loud and brash, at least you’re getting it out.
Put on some angry music and yell. (Works for me.)
I offer my own condolences for the loss of your mother and the loss of your fur-baby. I had to put my cat down about 3 years ago, and I still cry for him.
Let yourself become unstuck. You’re the only one holding you back.
Broccoli
Dear Broccoli,
Thanks for looking so deeply and empathetically at my ’stuckness’ or state of ‘existing’. As I read your words about your being able to help others when you have finished crying, I realized just how much you are in touch with your feelings and your pattern (destiny?)of helping others.
Just re-reading your wise words will be a great support to me. Thank you for your condolences - I cry most for my dear "fur baby" as you have called her. She was such a loving companion with her little cheeky ways of getting attention. You must have suffered terribly at
having to put your "fur baby" down - it’s almost the hardest thing to do to your helpless darling.
I am intending to visit my mother’s grave to mourn properly in the way that I did not do on the day of the funeral. I will also try the angry music and yelling soon too!!
Sincere thanks, Broccoli,
Regards
Ikey
Ikey, you have helped me as well. Thank you, too. :) Stay strong, stay true. Live and love life, and let music be your companion. It never judges.
Dear Broccoli,
I have just realized that I have no angry music! Can you recommend anything and I’ll try to get it. Glad I have helped you in some way too!
Also, can I send you 2 songs and if so how do I do it?? I have sent
two friends those songs on mp3 format via e-mail addresses. I wouldn’t have a clue how to send it to your web site apart from sending it as a
reply to the the ‘notification of new post’ e-mail address.
If it isn’t possible or allowed I will be disappointed.
Regards
Ikey
If you go to my profile, (click my face wherever you see my posts and you’ll go right there,) and you can leave me a private message. I will respond and give you my private email address. I wouldn’t recommend leaving your private email address open in any post, for privacy purposes. Especially if it’s regarding original work. I would hate to see someone use them without your consent. This site is wonderful, open and honest, but we’re still on the www, so discretion is best.
Once we’ve exchanged personal emails it will be much easier for us to converse. If you’re alright with contact outside of the site, that is. I’m sure you’re probably aware that my real name isn’t Broccoli. LOL.
Would that be ok, Ikey? I hope to hear from you soon.
TTY Soon. ~B~
Reading some of your post, seems quite interesting will be back to check it out some more later. Also I wanted to know if you would be interested in exchanging blogroll linkswith my <a href="http://sheetshappens.com">piano sheets</a> site
Hi, I’m not sure I totally understand what you’re asking. It sounds alright, but would you mind filling me in a little more. (Slight blush.) Thanx. ~B~
Hi Piano sheets. Sorry, we do not do link exchanges.